On the Contamination of Bodies
(Or now that you’ve let them under your skin, what’s next?)

So, you have gone and gotten yourself in a bind.
You’re viciously infected with the latest fad bug
Just flown in from the finest people-infested bacteria-culturing swamps of Asia-minor…


We here at the Institute for Wellness of Mind and the Eradication of Symptoms
(Or feeling the ill effects of them)
Have the most up-to-date in medical science at our latex-gloved fingertips:
Painkillers with punch by the pound!
Which, with few side effects, will numb you thoroughly.
Don’t worry, you won’t feel anything!
These may, of course, cause nausea, loss of appetite, and/or hair loss,
But you, sir needn’t fret about that.

For you see, we here at the Institute for Wellness of Mind and the Eradication of Symptoms
Have the top-of-the-line in supplementary drugs for just such contingencies.


Your hair will be full, your appetite strong and your stomach craving away.
(Though for the full purposes of disclosure, we should add that these drugs do have a slight
Chance of 1 in 1,000 cases developing osteoporosis, sexual dysfunction or impotence, and/or
Migraine headaches.)

But, may we add enthusiastically, that the greatest intelligent minds in modern scientific research
Have the very latest in hormone replacement therapies to cope with just such minor, paltry
Save, of course, for migraines, but who really completely understands why some few poor souls
Get them anyway, and besides a different painkiller or supplementary drug, in the correct dosage,
May quickly and efficiently eliminate those stubborn headaches and allow you, sir to live quite


The Institute for Wellness of Mind and the Eradication of Symptoms would have you know
Gene replacement therapy is on the way, which may in the future alleviate these problems
All-together… and if not there is always radiation or chemo-therapy which may be of some use,
Though not terribly pleasant and sometimes rather painful, but you’ll be taking the painkillers

So, you see we’ve thought of everything and you have nothing to fear while living quite normally
For the remaining weeks you have left…


You haven’t been properly informed in all the details of your condition?

Well, how can we put this?

Again, we must reassure you that the brightest geneticists, well-funded researchers, talented
Physicians learned in internal medicine, and skilled surgeons in the top of their field are all
Working around the clock, in conjunction with our capable partners from 93 countries spanning
The globe, to eventually conquer this most unfortunate and debilitating ailment as soon as is
Humanly possible…

The bad news, sir is that, although I can once more reassure you of the best in comfort and pain
Management (complete with all the requisite support therapies)
Here at the Institute for Wellness of Mind and the Eradication of Symptoms,
There is, however, uh… um… little that can actually be done towards the curing per se of your
Particular disease…

You are quite dead.


It may be of some comfort that
We, here at the Institute for Wellness of Mind and the Eradication of Symptoms,
While not actively engaged in the curing of diseases as per the western philosophical trends,
Can joyfully predict with some degree of certainty that within just the next 5 to 10 years,
Given the current exciting breakthroughs in stem-cell research and revolutionary clinical trials
In pharmaceutical cocktails,
That your children (or perhaps your children’s children) should feel totally at ease, most optimistic
And hopeful for the future promises to…
All Writings and Images Copyright © Court Bennett 2010